“A Girl Sacrifice” – A Poem by Neha Trehan Oberoi
waking up in the morning so early…
I stand in front of the mirror..
And wipe the fog away..
My vision is still hazy..
From ridding myself this way..
My hair is all in tangles..
My eyes are filled with tears..
I wipe the warm tears away..
As if trying to rid myself of my fears..
I am ashamed of what I have done..
But it hurts me even more..
I can’t make myself stop doing it..
Even though I know what’s in store..
It has taken over my mind..
It is eating away at my soul..
My throat burns with anger..
I am still looking in the mirror..
Is it me..
Yet I don’t know who I see..
All that I know..
Is this sad sight couldn’t be me..
I grip the edge of the counter..
So tightly that my knuckles turn white..
I want to scream out in anger..
At this ugly sight..
It’s your fault I hiss..
That I do this to myself..
If only you didn’t look this way.
I would be in better health..
The better me..
I cover the image in the mirror..
With the palm of my hand
And notice a cut on my wrist..
That I never knew I had..
I grab my hand in anger
Or is it more like fright..
I a just so shocked
To see this sight..
I laugh and then I cry
Then crumble to the floor..
Suddenly aware of my problem..
Like I never was before..
Its all because of you..
How did this happen to me?
How did I become a statistic?
I thought that I was strong,
I thought I was better than that..
My head throbs in anger..
My throat burns with pain again..
My wrist loses a drop of blood..
And Nothing is what I have gained..
Gained the pain given by you…
Gained the fear of losing you..
Gained your power..
You gained my weakness..
God will never forgive you for my tears..
God will never forgive me for loving you this much..
Punishment or gift..
Thank you… forgive me if i hurt someone…